It’s important for men to recognize that as women age, it becomes more challenging for them to keep up the same level of housekeeping they did when they were younger.
When this becomes noticeable, it’s best not to raise your voice. Some women can be quite sensitive, and dealing with an overly sensitive partner is never easy.
Let me share how I approached this situation with my wife, Carol. A few years ago, when I retired, Carol had to take on a full-time job in addition to her part-time one, both for extra income and to secure the health benefits we needed.
Not long after she started working full-time, I began to notice signs that she was showing her age. I typically return home from the golf course around the same time she gets home from her job.
Even though she knows I’m starving, she often says she needs to take a break for half an hour or so before she begins preparing dinner. I don’t raise my voice. Instead, I reassure her to take her time and wake me when dinner is ready.
Since I usually have lunch at the golf club, dining out in the evening isn’t an option for us. I always look forward to a home-cooked meal when I walk in.
She used to do the dishes right after we ate, but these days, it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for hours before she gets around to cleaning them.
I do my part by gently reminding her a few times each evening that the dishes won’t clean themselves. I know she appreciates the reminder, as it encourages her to get them done before she heads to bed.
Another sign of aging, I think, is the tendency to complain. For example, she’ll mention that it’s hard to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But guys, we took our vows for better or worse, so I just smile and offer my support.
I suggest she spread the task out over two or even three days so she doesn’t feel so rushed. I also joke that skipping lunch now and then could help her figure. I like to think I’m skilled at handling these things tactfully.
When doing simple tasks, she seems to need more breaks. For instance, she had to take a rest when she was only halfway through mowing the lawn. I tried not to make a big deal out of it. I try to be fair.
I suggested she make herself a nice cold glass of fresh orange juice and relax for a bit. And, since she’s making one for herself, she might as well make one for me too.
I know I probably seem like a saint in the way I support Carol. I’m not saying it’s easy to show this level of patience and consideration—many men would find it tough, if not impossible.
But no one understands better than I do the frustrations that come with aging.
